Is it wrong to have only a traditional marriage and forget the white wedding? A Nigerian lady has narrated a heartbreaking story of her marriage.
Below is how Nigerian lawyer and former legal consultant at African Development Bank, Emeka Ugwuonye, reported the story on the Facebook page of ‘The Due Process Advocates (DPA);
The story below confirms my earlier observation. Only a fraudulent or ignorant man would insist on having ONLY traditional marriage with you. If he refuses to go for registry/court marriage, he is a fraudster or a fool, and you should not marry a man who is either. Now, read the story of this poor lady:
I want to leave my marriage but I am worn out of fear. I married my husband six years ago traditionally, I sounded so foolish to have agreed on traditional marriage but that wasn’t how I planned it. I was planning for a masters degree programme in the uk when the issue of marriage came in to play.i agreed to marry him both traditionally and legally, we even bought my wedding gown immediately I accepted the proposal but as my school was fast resuming I could no longer do the white wedding so we scheduled the white wedding on my next visit to Nigeria.
I visited nigeria for a few days yet we couldn’t have the weddings at that time because of time frame but I took in on that my short visit. So my husband said after delivery the we gonna have the wedding, so after delivery I continued with my studies as I had to put a hold due to pregnancy challenges.on graduating hubby requested us to come back home.
On coming to Nigeria my husband refused me working for any one as he said he gonna set me up with business but yet nothing is happening since then, he doesn’t talk about the wedding anymore, each time I remind him he keeps telling me to be patient, and I have got a second baby since I came back, yet I don’t work and I didn’t have the wedding. This guy had beat me twice in 2013 and last year November, then I wanted to leave the marriage but keeps begging me.
Now I found out that he is seriously cheating on me and I have been broken since then, remember my first child is a british citizen and I was given a permit too but the permit has expired since is up to two years I left the uk, now i want to leave this marriage but I don’t have a job and I don’t have accommodation to take care of my 2 kids, also I can’t go back to uk since my permit is expired and my second baby was born in Nigeria.
Also my GREATEST FEAR is that he will take the children from me and I can’t afford to leave them cos they are too tender 4 years n 1 year and I only have traditional marriage with him, please advise and help me, my life is crumble and my heart bleeds.
This lady probably decided to reach out to me today after reading my post on the implications of having a man who wants to have only traditional marriage. Now, listen carefully: Traditional marriage has it benefit or advantage. It is the best form of partying and social reunion of friends and families to celebrate a marriage.
But when it comes to your legal rights as a spouse, it is wholly inadequate and totally deficient. So, you should have BOTH traditional and registry/court marriage. If you must have only one, let it be the registry/court marriage because it is cheaper and far far more superior in protecting the rights of everybody, including the rights of the children.